Cubone - The Gambling Historian!

That horse racing saying goes back 3oo years but is it true, Next sunday I will invite my grand kids to dinner but if the ask me how I did at Royal Ascot, I will not be able to repeat the heading, the reason is would have been the end of a ASCOT FESTIVAL. and although the majority of racecourses the saying is true, ASCOT it is certainy not.
Royal Ascot is a law to itself.
You certainly could not say it is equal for all class structures.
Ascot is the last of the Formal Dress sporting dress occasions in the world.
But this coming week is certainly different from any other the 3rd week in June, it is of course the greatest festival of the HORSE in the world.
Other county,s may claim. there particular, week. as the greatest, festival of Horse racing, and no doubt there are some wonderful weeks in the USA, Ireland, and even France, but without causing fear or favour
ASCOT WEEK is the “FESTIVAL” no other can compete..
Just to see the shape and beauty of the runners during this week both human and equine,i s enough, to convince you of what I say, but as some snotty nosed vagrant, born in one of the worst slumbs in the UK. Ascot overawed me, I actually felt. that I had no right to be there.as a lad.
When I read Pygmalian, as a teenager and then in the 60s watched the film My Fair Lady. I was fascinated by the whole event,
And when I saw Eliza in the Royal Enclosure Shout “Goo On Rover move your Bloomin Arse” I thought I would love one day to go to ascot and be allowed in the Royal Enclosure.
After years of doing so. I realise that Eliza was a one off. because if you ever want to see. the three class,s “Upper, Middle” and Working ” in there full glory you must go to a Royal Ascot Meeting.
When the Romans invaded Britian in 55 BC, this was the first real snob culture we in this great country ever witnessed.
Any one who has ever seen Pathe News footage of Bendito Mussolini, in the 1930.s making his great speeches, would get a feel for what is ment by Snobishness.
When the Romans settled, they wanted to show not only they were a greater class, than the Celts, but that there horses were also better. quality.
So after building great roads they created areas for sport, so that they could rub our noses in the British dirt.
During the reigns of Henry 11 and later King John, in the late 12th Centry, horse racing began to be part of our pastime, Hunting and Horse breeding began to take hold, and any King worth his salt also had great stables of Classy racers.
James the first in 1603-25 began to get the game organised, he made a great effort to make it a spectator sport, so that not only was he happy to show he was a KING he also had the greatest horses that money could buy.
This was the start of the Royal interest in horse Racing.
Charles the second actually rode in matches between, himself and anyone wealthy enough to be challenge.him.
Queen Ann inaugarated the first Royal Ascot meeting in 1711. only a few attended that day not because lack of interest, but Ann had decided that Horse Racing was her favourite Sport, so after driving over a piece of common ground she thought that was was perfect.for what she had in mind.
The title of ROYAL ASCOT derives from the most glorious feature and only the Romans could have thought this one up.
Although they had gone back to Rome, by the time Ann arranged the
ROYAL PROCESSION.
Only a snob of the very worst sort would arrange for a circular track to be arranged a mile or two from her Castle at Windsor, fence it off from, all but special people, create a Path from Windsor to Ascot, and every day of this race meeting, 9 coaches, with the Royals in there very best silks would travel from there front door to there special box in her Royal enclosure.
In 1814 after Napoleon got his come upence. at Waterloo,there were riots as the coaches approuched the track. Prince Regent, and his many drunken friends, were bustled in a fit of exitement by the ordinary folk.
A special enquiry was set up. to make sure that this occurance never happened again
When the Prince came to the throne, in 1820. he arranged that the cortege would comprise of 8/9 carrages each drawn by four bays, the Sovereign rode in the last carrage accompanied by special guests.
Huntsmen Postillions, Footmen, Equerries, and a few Private Detectives. made the most wonderful site, you will ever see, all Pomp and Glory.
Royal Ascot may have been modified over the years, and costs may have cut it down to 4 Landaus, but The Royal Family and there guests, drawn by footmen dressed in Purple Gold and Scarlet Livery still shows of the Class structure of the British Isles.
Ever since the event became a yearly dish, the French have tried at every turn to seek a way to compete, and there is no doubt that there horses, have offerd a very strong challenge but they cant beat the Royal Procession, that is something no one can.
Even the Arabs who now dominate Horseracing or the Irish, who run them a close second, no one can compete with the Pomp and Glory that we inhearted from the Romans. only the Maffia ever came near.
As far as the racing goes, Grand National and Derby Day may be popular by the mass,s as there Day.
They still attend the ROYAL MEETING in there attempt, to be accepted, as equal.
But when they arrive at Ascot, you can cut the Snobbery with a Stanley Knife.
The Royal Enclosure is not what it used to be, how may people will attend in ill fitted frock coats, that will be vetted by hundreds of flunkies parked at every enterance to the Royal Enclusures. no Jeans, or trouser suits, for women, only special dress, unless you are in the cheaper enclosures, still known as the CHEAP Enclosure, that alone could only be dreamt up by us Brits. although cheap is not a word that would be allowed to be used during this week.
Every Day, will be a brilliant Pagentary, of the past.
But if the Prince Regent, thought that the public drunk to much, during the 1814 meeting, what he would think this week I would love to know,
Every night from 7.0 onwards a mass of cleaners will get the enclosures ready for the following day, a tone of French Letters, will find there way into some Land Fill. not the sort, transported by British Mail I may add. I dont think we should blame the French for this matter. as the first real rubber was made by Goodyear well before the heavy duty used on our motor ways.
This year the two great sites firstly at the start The Royal Procession and lastly the most wonderfull
Music event by a Royal Millitary Band playing from a raised Band Stand, at the back of the main Stand will produce gallans of real tears. from real UK. folk. Upper Middle and Working. and in fact it will be the one thing that will unite us all together, this week, tears tast the same salty.and allow us to forget our station in life. but to remember all our old loved ones from the past.
So if there is anyone who wishes to see every think that is good and bad in 4/5 hours per day only 4 days, then attend the Greatest Festival on Earth.
During my 35 years of attendance I have seen the lot.
I have seen Prince Monolulu the 1940/60 racecourse Tipster, make any Royal Snob. grunt in disbelief.
when he called over to his side a Prince with the word,s “here you are guvner, you can have a tip for free, as I beleave that things are a little hard at the Palace. at present.”
That would have caused a month in the Tower in the past.
I will never forget one year when I was Betting at the end of Tattersalls, well away from the Royal Enclosure a visitor from the USA button holed me for a little history lesson about his day out.

“This is amazing all this pagentry, it is as if you all know each other, Rich and Poor,.”
I told him that in a few moments the Queen will look over this way and wave to me”

“I dont think that will happen my friend,”
I decided to show him the british love of fun. something the Irish call the CRACC. so I challenged him to a wager.
£10 that I could call upon all the people arround us, to join in a spontanious responce. to the Queen. and she will wave over towards us.
He pulled up a crisp £10 note and gave it to me.
“That I must see”
As the procession came closer to were we were standing. I found a very large wooden Stool used by a Tik Tak, to show prices from tattersals to the Silver Ring. (Cheap Enclosure)
I climbed on to the stool. and as the Queen was reaching our position I shouted out.
HIP HIP HORRAY.
At that moment 5000 racegoers all cried out.

HORAY. 3 Times
The Queen looked over towards me, and Waved for many seconds,
The Yank was amazed and I had to spend ages talking to him before I could start betting again.
I am not sure this was the same Yank, who walked into the betting ring in 1992 and could see a particular Bookmaker called Bob Jacobs, a real Black Country giant of a man, have a rest before proceedings began.
The American was not pleased that he had arrived in a betting ring and yet could not get a bet,
I will never forget him he had the most beutiful pale blue silk, morning suit and he gave poor Bob a right rolloking.
BOB was eating a Pork Sandwich with Tomato Sauce in abundance.
As a illustrious Yamer (A Back County Dweller) answered the question as to why he was not betting he spat some of the sauce by accident on the Yanks lapels. he looked down and tried to whipe it off causing the left lapel to change from pale blue to red. I never saw the American again.
I was well known as the Bookmaker who always offered odds on the Colour of her majesties HAT.
Copied ever since by many others.
For years I carried out this practice and I am sure that the Queen knew that I was doing so. year ago I would have been banned and ex-communicated, from the track itself.
But now she would just smile as I shouted out, Pay over RED, or Blue, whatever the colour once seen.
One year when mobile telephones became popular, I was betting away with every colour emaginable
There were 25 different variations of shades.
Up came a man, who I can only guess was part of the Royal Household,
“Can I back a colour that you do not have on your board”.
That was enough to make me see red.
“How much do you want on your choice Sir”
“A hundrend or two if you wish”
At that moment the fun bet that was generating bets of 2 shilling, caused me to smell. a rat as big as a Cat.
I had been to long in the game to get caught by a flunkie who wished to be part of some Insider Trading Scam, on behalf of a Queen. as I understand there are many in her majesties Household.

“You will have to be exact with the shade that you require Sir”
If I do not have it on my board.
Well its like a light shade of Blue.and Green like cyan. who else knew what cyan was.
I didnt know if to laugh or cry. but refrrained from taking his wager.
I also asked if I could have his membership number so that I could send the winnings to the palace.
he grunted and dashed off never placing a wager.
So if you can get to the track this week, keep well away from the Royal Enclosure, and mix with us working classes because after all this track belongs to us, all though you would not guess it. would you.
If you cant make it as you are lucky enough to be working, or you cant afford to hire a formal morning suit. or if female to spend £500 on a My Fair Lady outfit, then then I advise you to watch the history of the UK unfold on TV.
A further point to see real Snobs, in action, watch the Fashion team on BBC TV James Sherwood public educated fool of a man, I guess, if snobs had to pass an exam, to become one, Sherwood would have a masters degree.
How he loves to make young girls cry by slagging them off for wearing the wrong colour or style or even the wrong accessories. to there dress. all this is recorded next day for the poor gal and her friends to see. how the Ascot leaders stand for that I do not know. after all we all pay the same to attend and are all Ascots guests, even if we are not part of the Procession.
How this idiot has,not been whacked by a womens boyfriend or husband I do not know.
I can only guess that it is the Green Eyed Monster in him as he would love to be a young girl. himself.no doubt.

Cubone.