A Yard for a Year
I was 21 years of age was a junior partner in a few betting shops my brother was the senior member as he had invested any equity he had in his home in the shops, I was a would be play boy, come compulsive gambler. was happy for him to actually be senoir shareholder, I was security manager.
My main aim was to prove that I could drink a Bottle of Vodka, and drive home without hitting any lamposts that seemed to jump out into the road when you least expected them, by the time I was 22 I had scored 15 Baliesha Beacons, one Bus Shelter and brand new set of Lights. If I had known then what i know know I wouldnt have had little stars painted on the bonnet of my car, like Baron Von Richthofen of Red devil fame. it did actualy not go well with local constables, It was also not good policy, to chastise any policman who stopped you for minor offences, with a statement like
“As you are wasiting your time with this petty offence, constable some villan is giving your misses a seeing to”
At the time any driving offence resulted in a slip of paper being pasted in your Driving Licence. and after a few years my Licence resembled the new Testiment.
£25 a week may not seem much as my wages but it was a fair amount in 1961.and lasted me from 8.0 on the friday night until 1.0 Saturday morning.,
I had also won a few quid from time to time using my little black timeform Book I had 2 nice suts, and a mohair overcoat.
I also had a Blue Sports Jacket that had the best embossed Royal Air Force Badge ever seen how it came about was.
I had been out of the Royal Air Force for a year when I droped into Horne Brothers a New Street, Birmingham clothing store.
When I arrived on the first floor, I asked if i could be shown were I could purchase a Royal Air Force Badges for the Blazer that I had purchased from the store a week before.
When I arrived at the correct floor, I was sheaperded towards a young lad, who was new to the game.
“I nead a Royal Airforce Badge”
He didnt ask what rank or type just produced a Book of at least a 100 differing Badges,
The plain cloth Badges, were cheap and certainly wouldnt be doing any favours to my beutiful hand made jacket.
After a flick though the Book I came across a fantastic embossed gold threaded badge it was like those worn by the queen as some Night of the Star of Garter.
When I asked how much this badge was the Lad was quick to confirm that
“You will have to sign the special Registry to purchase that one”
Without saying a word I had been given an equaly impressive and embossed Ledger.
It was no time at all before I could see that all the signitures were of Group Captains a few Wing Commanders , 2 Air Chief Marshals. and even a Marshall of the Royal Air Force,
I already had the Badge in a paper bagg and was given a pen,
I am not sure what I scribled wether it was even my own name. it made no difference the Lad was pleased to have sold the item, and perhaps like Train Spotters of the time he had thought he had witnessed some sporting hero.
The first day out with the Badge, glowing like, a wealthy brides tiarra I must say I was impressed my self. .
As I arrived to see a young hairdresser, who I had befriended. I could see that she was also impressed, when we walked in to the bar of a famous watering hole, in Broad Street i could see that there were a least a dozen other locals to be served first,
However as if like the parting of the waves, in christian folk Law, the badge could be seen by the barman, through the crowd “Can I help you Sir”
He must have been an old Airman, probibly some minor rank. and was mesmorized by the Badge.
It was only when I remarked in my wonderfull Brumie accent.
” Two Bacardies and Rum. Pal that he was taken a back. but he never said a word to me, but was gazing at the Badge as if it was the Badges fault for the deceit.
Not until the Jacket and badge bacame thread Bare a dozen years later, did I realise the Rank that that you neaded to be to wear the badge,
I was quite embarressed to say the least, and hope that my old CO Commanding Officer, Waite, who rightfully deserved to wear the badge, will forgive me.
I must say it was worth 20 Love affairs a year. at least.
At the time I used to attend race meetings, to keep my hand in as a top tick tack, I loved to go to Yarmouth and stay at the Dukes Head just up from the front. during the meetings there would be scores of racing workmen, from all over the UK. staying there, being much to far, to travell back over night there being no motorways at the time, well certainly not to Yarmouth.
No Karoki neither but that made no difference there were many would be Frank Sinatra, for all that, I even remember Tommy Steel a Bookmakers Son, get up and do a few numbers, and I heard someone remark if he was a better singer he would get a good living.at the entertainment game.
After one meeting, I was the worse for wear when I was asked if i could run.
When I informed the questionare that I was a great runner, that a few bets were offered, a team from newcastle seemed to wish to challenge any willing combatant.
I was up for it, when an old Clerk who had been in the racing game for 50 years, and worked for a Brummie Bookie friend, asked if it was a handicap. as I was pissed.
“Dont bother I will run against anyone.”
Ok Then you can run against Old Bill. the geordies remarked.
In the corner was a withered up old man he must have been, 60 as against my 22.
I started to laugh. and it didnt go down all that well.
OK then if you fancy your chance what about a little start,.
Will you give BILL Yards for years. the poor chap could hardly walk never mind run and was showing everybody his left knee it was as big as a football. and creeked. every time he moved it.
38 yards, start, I would have given him, 50 yards, without the wise council. of the old clerk, who seemed for some reason to wnt to father me.
Outside it had started to rain. in fact it was comming down in sheets. the geordies wanted to get it over with, an even £50. Yards for years me 22 and the old codger 60.
38 yards start.
The clerk. looked out and informed the crowd that had gathered that we would hold the race the next night after the weather improved.
Back in the Bar and the Northern Team having disperced, I was sober enough to receive the biggest bollocking I had received since my old Junior had given me the slipper for spilling a pot of red ink.
Son I know you are fit and probaby can run as fast as you think you can However that old man is a 8.yard Powderhall Champion.
That means he can beat an Olympic Champion off 8. and you wish to give him 32 yards start.
I was quickly becomming sober, “what about his Knee,”
prob has got a bit of gout or a dodgy knee but he will slapp it a few times every day it will soon ballon up. must have earned him a fortune that dodgy looking knee.
However we have given our word that you will run against him tomorrow, and our word is our bond, but leave it to me I will try and change the start, a little.
I do know the Old man, he won a few quid a few years ago, at the Autum Meeting at Ascot. that day he beat 10 of the fastest runners from Eton, Oxford or Cambridge could muster. £3 a runner. and then a run off with the second, he won both races a lenth, he never wins any futher, than a lenth and has been doing so for years.
The next day, I managed to win a few quid, at the races. and all through the jollyfacations, of the evening I only drank, water,
Right Ive managed to get the start down to 10 yards, Son I still think he will beat you, but at least we will have more chance than last night.
The distance was measured out. by the old man and my new found manager, the winning post, was at the Duke Heads, main Door,.
I noticed that the old northern runner certainly was not concerned, about having a drink and I had seen him drink at least. 10 points, of Ale.
The Clerk who had befriended me, asked how much I wanted on myself. a “Poney” (£25)
Are you sure son, Yes I am confidant, that I can beat him. alright then I will have a £50 with you.
The Even £75, was no mean bet, in the 60s, eqivilant to an even Grand Now.(£1,000)
I took my coat, off and began the walk, to the start. the three geordies were happy to remain at the finishing line. they would be hard to beat if the finish is close they will claim the win, unless you are clear.
I was young not a care in the world and although I had been told about his Powderhall exploits, I still couldnt see an old man of 60. with the worse dodgy knee I had ever seen.beat me even receiving 10 yards start.
As I walked to the start, It seemed a long way, I went to say, “Whats This a marathon” when a finger was placed on my lips.
At the start, I could see that the old man was a pro alright, he went down as if he was running in the heats of the olympic sprint, his knee didnt seem to be giving him any problem,
The Clerk walked down to the Old Man off 10 yards, start and held up a white handerchief. are you ready. it certainly didnt seem that I was 10 yards behind, him but he or no one else seemed concerned so why should I complain.
On your marks, OFF.
I was off like the proverbial Hare, by the time we had run 50 Yards I had him. in my sight, he looked over towards me, and I couldnt beleave it he was smiling like a cheashire Cat.
As we approuched the door to the pub and improvised winning post, I was neck and neck. 10 yards from the post I was levell and at the post I was 1 lenth clear.
The 3 geordies, were dumbfounded, that was the first race he has lost, for 15 years, they were sick.
Come on said my backer, lets draw the winning and get in the hotel. they are less than pleased.
back in the hotel. I was given a £10.
Hang on I had £25, on. not a £10.
Yes and I had £50 on and I only won, £20. who had the rest then.
Who do you think had it the OLD MAN.
You dont think that a Powderhall Champion could be beaton off ten yards start by you. in fact he could have given you 10 yards and a beating.
I had to make the race 120 yards to even get away pulling the wool over the eyes of the Old mans backers.
Well how did I win then if he was that good,
I just offered him more than he would have got, by beating you simple as that.
It was a leason that I never forgot Yards for years and the one off the front is a cert. all they have to do is calculate the time it takes to run the 50 yards, and any runner worth his merit. can do that in 10 seconds so the one off scratch has to be a World Champion. and there arnt many of them about and certainly not singing in a yarmouth Pub. race week.
Cubone
