Seen the Light.
After reaching my 3 score and ten. I can assume that I am into extra time,
And what with billions of reserves awaiting there chance for a Life time of Sadness, in most cases, I can say thank you Lord for a wonderful life.
From a very humble beginning, I have not broken any sound barriers, but what with loving family and wonderful 3rd generation Kids,I cant help a smile.
Who knows whether or not I am going to become one of the lucky humans who run on into a century.
If I do then it will be pure luck, as I cant say I have budgeted for longevity.
In fact I have had more than my fair share of near mis,s.
As far as good health is concerned I always thought that I was a fit, and healthy person. played lots of sport as a youth, soccer 3 times a day , school. Boys Brigade and my local Pub. in my early teens, cricket, and squash.
At cricket I would try to hit the ball out of the ground rather than running all over the place making 2/3s.
One almighty 6 would save me loads of scurrying around the park.
As a soccer player I was what my father once explained, as an Opportunist.
Like a poor mans, Garry Linaker.
It appeared that I was like a viper waiting for the center half to make a slight error and I was off, slipping the ball between the goal keepers legs, for one of my many hat tricks.
After the initial spurt of pace I had to rest a while, and could be seen talking to the apposing left back, about the best clubs in the city to find crumpet.
When in the Royal Air Force, I found that I had ability as an Athlete, it was always going to be as a sprinter. perhaps long, jump. but even in these tests I was impressive at 45 yards only and then, lucky if I manged to hang on to the winning post.
Never worried a great deal, I got to the final of the sports, days at all ages, even when I reached 40s I could be called upon not to let my young children down at there school sports, day leading other fathers half my age, in the parents race, right up to the last few yards.
After I passed my sporting days I would from time to time, exercise, usually when my weight had ballooned past what was expected of me,
So if I was to give myself a report on my sporting achievement from 0 to 40 I would proudly say,
A tryer, blistering speed at 50 yards, unfortunately there was no such events otherwise I may have been of Olympic stature.
I offer this rambling, for no other reason than, to tell you that a few months ago,
I woke up one morning and found that I had received a tip, from someone, not sure who, I would like to think it was the All Mighty, telling me that the Candle that I had burned both ends for the 70 years had now become, a mess, with the wick, having difficulty in reaching a flame.
It was my breathing that was the problem, and very shallow.
Whispering to the wife between gulps for air, she arranged an appointment.
As I waited my turn I was finding it more and more difficult, to breath,
As Doctor Premchand opened his door he gazed at me and called out.
Mrs, Orchard I could wait no longer, although it was Mrs Orchards turn to discuss her MRS it was me that required urgent help.
I was going fast, my eyes flickering, could even see the wonderful setting of Lilly covered lake and waterfall in the distance, I had read about these near death experiences, and was worried shiteless.
I had no intention of moving on to the Harp playing angel stage.
My timing must have been very good, because following a run and jump into the doctors room, the next thing I remember was lying in a hospital bed with more tubes in and around me than a astronaut.
Looking up above and to the left, there were monitors, every were.
To the right was my loving wife, discussing with some specialist, what had caused my near miss.
After 3 days I was informed that they expected a minor stroke, day 4 could be a liver problem,
Day 5 I could see that they were flummoxed.
Did I smoke was a regular question regarding my difficulty in breathing,
When I explained that following the death of my mother and father in 1950s/60. in relatively young ages, both with smoking related illness,s I had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t a plan if I wished to reach old age. and had never smoked a cigerette in my life if you forget one Churchillian type Cigar that I tried, after winning a large pot in a French casino.
I knew that I was probably a Secondary smoker what with every one in the house smoking , leaving only me and our 90 year old tortoise, free to breath.
The tortoise however is luckier than me hibernating from December then sleeping non stop until after Cheltenham, and all he eats, is a few strawberries a week, and scurries around the garden, fazed by nothing not even the Stafford Bull Terrier. who is no fool liking him, rather than trying a bite.
It appeared that I had the heath experts foxed. if it wasn’t a heart attack, my liver was now, running perfectly. it was just my breathing, that was causing problems.
After another 5 days, I was surrounded by my Specialist, and 5 of his juniors.
“Mr Butler I have sorted out your problem, at last, you are suffering from Acute Ashma
Between gasps, I asked how on earth I could be Asthmatic, when all my life I had been as fit as a flea and sports freak,
Yes no doubt you were but I would think that the sports that you indulged in did not tax your breathing capacity, no marathons I bet.
He was right After 50 yards I would stop to a walk.
I remember I could run 10 feat and rest for 10 minutes, so my lungs were very shallow.
Once I could get my breath back and start again, how odd.I thought.
I left the Hospital with a bag of medication that would sink the NHS ship, faster than the Titanic. if every one had repeat prescription.
Wasn’t looking good, for my Anti Post, bet to reach 100 that I had placed with Ladbrokes in 1987
It didn’t require me to report my change in circumstances the Bookmaker, lengthened the odds before I arrived home. perhaps they had an insider.
Even before my problem, arose I hadn’t been a fitness fanatic. the strongest activity would be a little strole with the dog, throwing a piece of wood for him to chase, Fishing, not the most strenuous past time, the rest of my time spent playing the piano like key board, on my computer. so with my breathing now under control. who is to say, that I cant expect another 5years at least.
However for the past 12 months, my breathing had got steadily worse.
Every morning sometimes as early as 4.30 I would wake up. gasping for breath, I panic. driving my car about with the window open, in an attempt to force some air into my lungs,
A further worry has been the thickening of mucus that I bring up. more like chewing gum, than the usual. spit.
My Doctor, has been a great help. allowing me Bags of repeat subscription, taxing yet again the Health service.
The other day,. following a 4 hour spell standing in the garden trying to get a deep breath, into my lungs I decided to Google my way out of trouble.
If I was going to reach my new re-accessed, life span, of 3 score years 10 plus a little 10% then I had to do what the Jewish thief, in Oliver did by “Thinking it out again”
What was i doing wrong, that may be causing my breathing problems,
Well the two box,s of Cadburies delight wasn’t a Help. gone in a week.
Eating the Easter Eggs, purchased for the grand Kids just down right greed.
I gazed at a Block of Cadbury,s Whole Nut in the Fridge. how on earth did they ever become so big.
every night after dinner. usually 7.0 I have a habit of sitting firstly on the floor in front of the TV, then sliding on to my back, this particular evening nothing had changed watching soccer, Half the slab had gone by half time. this in the old days would be the period when the Ice cream Girl appeared.
Settled back down on my back, I nestled with the chocolate, on my bare chest. this was indeed a great night,
I had given my inhaler a work out, followed by two puffs of Seratide, I had then cleared my nostrils with Becanase, a Hayfeaver relief. I felt safe and secure. and well.
All doors were locked. and the Stafford shire Bull Terrier was asleep one bite distance away from the back door. and any thief’s.
I was feeling a little tired, but was enjoying the entertainment, to much to go to bed.
The next thing I remember was waking up. I put my hand to my chest, I felt I must have had an hemorrhage. liquid was every were.
For a moment I lay still thinking I had a major problem.
I did, for all over the carpet and my shirt was a pint of liquid Chocolate.
When the wife saw this I was in trouble.
Over 15 minutes later I had cleaned the carpet, and thrown my shirt and trousers in the washing machine.
I lay there in the semi nude. my thoughts were ticking over. and working over time.
Here I was an Ashma sufferer stuffing liquid oil. into my pipes, call it chocolate if you like but it certainly looked like thick oil to me.
I went up stairs and got into the bath. there was something not quite right.
How could I, be losing sleep. struggling to breath, and fetching mucus up like Glue.
Well it didn’t nead a brains like a Winston Churchill to figure it all out.
I got up at 7.30 called the dog, and took him a walk around the local lake, it was pleasant seeing all the rabbits, and squirrels, scurrying about. the fish, and ducks had been up for ages.
I was still suffering to get that least deep breath, but my mind was as clear and as sharp as glass,
From this moment on it was my life style, that would have to change.
No future drying out of my breathing tubes, water was the best remedy. who said ? Jeeves did,| never mind Chocolate. that was to be knocked on the head fore with.
So with exersize, and water, I could remedy all my ailments. in one swoop.
Within 2 days my breathing had improved 50% the mucus was clear and of a different texture than Chewing Gum, all in all I was a different person.
4 weeks later with 1 stone, in weight and 2 inch off my girth, the great sports jacket that I purchased in 2007, and never fitted, was like a glove. I was a new man.
Walking to my local betting Shop. I asked what price I was reaching 3 score and ten plus a further 30 years.
Ladbrokes must have heard about the Ashma, because they had increased the original odds out to 100 from 66/1
I just had to place a £50 at the new price. if there price assessor knew what I knew the odds would have been no more than 10,
Although I do feel a little sorry for the chap. and advise him to make sure he has a good pension scheme, for in 2035 his job will be in jeopardy.
Cubone.
